While Howard Stern often tells guests they’ve “said it all,” the embattled shock jock released a promo today that promises he’s still got a few things to get off his chest.
On SiriusXM channels today, listeners began hearing a movie trailer narrator delivering a melodramatic message, per The Hollywood Reporter: “The tabloids have spoken: Howard Stern fired, canceled, is it really ‘Bye-Bye Booey’? Chaos is swirling at The Howard Stern Show. Did staffers talk to the press? Are writers withholding their best jokes? Nobody knows what’s going on or who to trust.”
Intrigue! It’s all based on speculation, started by anonymous sources cited in the U.S. Sun, that SiriusXM intends to low-ball Stern when his 5-year contract concludes this fall. It would be an inglorious end for the King of All Media, a radio titan reduced to has-been status before he can retire gracefully. What’s Howard’s official take on all of this? We’re about to find out, says the promo.
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“Now we can reveal all the questions will be answered, all the truths will be told by the one man truly on the inside. Howard Stern will speak Tuesday, September 2.”
Maybe Stern’s title should have been Master of All Marketing all along. He’s played his contract negotiations for ratings in the past, a game of “Should I stay or should I go?” that generally comes down to the absolute last second. An angry, aggrieved Stern is the most entertaining Stern, so expect him to rant about all the slights, real or imagined, being inflicted upon him by the suits at SiriusXM.
As for “all the truths will be told” on his first day back? Don’t believe it for a second. Stern will no doubt bluster about all the tabloid headlines that swirled this month — rumors that staffers already have one foot out the door, that they’ve hoarded their best jokes and bits for their next jobs, that Stern has been hinting for months that he’s ready to hang it up.
But revealing his decision on September 2 — to retire, to sign a new contract, to start a podcast or whatever else comes next — makes no sense. There’s too much drama to be wrung out of the current situation, and even if the publicity is for all the wrong reasons, both SiriusXM and Stern are likely thrilled that the show is once again scandal rag fodder. Why not ride that horse as long as it can keep trotting?
Even if SiriusXM and Stern cut ties, we probably haven’t heard the last of Howard. It’s not hard to imagine a Dave Letterman-esque future in which some streamer signs Stern to do periodic, long-form celebrity interviews. It’s what his show has become anyway, without the stress of filling hours of extra time each day with phony phone calls, Wack Packers and staff infighting.
In the meantime, Stern will lean into the chaos until a decision is made. Anarchy has always been his not-so-secret weapon.
